Alec Laine

I was left pretty confused after reading this first chapter. I am definitely willing to read more, but as previous suggestions say, you should look over your grammar and elaborate ...

The year was 2001 December 19th. I would rephrase: "The year was 2001, on December 19th." I remember that fateful day, and this is exactly how it happened. This is ...

The plane seats eased me into a sleep that I didn’t wake from until I was poked by the flight attendant. How many seats does she need? I shifted my ...

I live in the middle of nowhere on a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic called Belle Island. I think this was a bit repetitive, and you were ...

I must say before my TWO nitpicks (very well written piece, I must say) that I was completely stunned by this piece. As aforementioned, I couldn't take my eyes off ...

He didn’t get a good glimpse of it though, as soon as he bushes had been cut away, it had jumped out and slashed at Mark’s chest. Typo: "the" Luckily, ...

The desk was an oasis of emptiness in the unkempt room, which was strewn with clothes, magazines and rubbish. However, the desk ’s usual squatters: empty pizza boxes, mugs of ...

It's terrible, this prolouge, but review! I need somehelp! :) I'll say it again: Don't underestimate yourself. What happens when you’re too young to fight, but to old to cower…….? ...

Here's a few things I noticed: That dreadful ticking noise. Tick, tick, tick……is what she heard, if she did hear it correctly. I don't like the last part, you could ...

White Marcus's mother came charging in to his in the morning. He woke up because of her voice, but he couldn’t yet comprehend what she was saying. He looked at ...

Extraverted 33% Intuitive 50% Feeling 62% Perceiving 11% I liked this part: "Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and ...

Definitely worthy of a gold star. This could be a short book for children, and I'm saying that as a compliment. You write in a way which pulls me in, ...

Of corse then, he was named Roger. "course" And I would rephrase this to "Of course, back then, he was named Roger." So it was a big change, I would ...

But the hellish storm of bullets, that had been crashing into the hull of the ship, had stopped. I have a strong dislike against the word "But" in the beginning ...

Sharing “You were so quick to sign the ticket; I never got the chance to tell you about the dangers. Either way, I’m glad you survived the fall, it seems ...